My vendetta against plants

When I get bored, I might come up with some random "projects" to pass my time. Lately I came up with an idea that some of the plants in this house are just on my way, and I need to get rid of them. It all started with one olive tree, which is spending the winter in the bedroom of my staff. As you can see the olive tree on the left was already suffering, and I thought I would help it out of its misery.

 

I mean hello, this is FINLAND, the olive trees don't belong here! This isn't Greece you know! The lady of the house has tried to nourish and cherish these trees a couple of years now. During last winter she almost lost the game, but somehow during last summer they came back to life on our sunny terrace outside. But back to my point. I noticed that the other tree only needed a tiny push to get it rest in peace, so I did. I bit some branches off and I scrarched what was left of it with my nails. The lady of the house was annoyed, and tried to stop me. Now she has moved the olive trees in her walk-in-closet, behind closed doors. Guess if the trees will survive a dark and cold room? I don't think so! As a bonus, now I have more room on the table above to strech myself and even have a nap if I feel like it. Carlos vs plants, 1-0.

The other annoying plant we have in our living room is this palm tree. The bad thing with this plant is that it has very sharp leafs. They stick you like needles. Obviously, I don't appreciate that if I try to climb on it. So today, I was leaning on the palm tree a bit, and finally it gave in and fell towards the floor. I guess I need to do this a couple of times more to finish it properly, but this was a good start. Carlos vs plants, 2-0.

Luckily the lady of the house is very bad with any kind of green plants in general, so we don't exactly live in a jungle. So there aren't that much plants to get rid of. I'll need to start making plans for the rest of them... Any tips for neutralizing plants in innovative ways are highly appreciated!